Change of Perspective...

Yesterday I was dragging a little & I was dreading going to bed, because I knew within a few hours I would be back up to feed a baby. I was sitting there thinking, Milo is only 3 week old & I am already tired of the night feedings! That is a bad thing, because we have lots more of them! I am sure I felt the same way with Hannah, but thanks to the human brain I can't recall these feelings or thoughts with much detail.

I eventually made my way to bed, because staying up would only make that first feeding that much harder. When 1:30 rolled around & Milo was up I sat there holding him & really enjoyed myself. I was able to find true joy in cuddling with my sweet baby & enjoyed staring at his cute face. I then realized that I don't want to wish away this wonderful time with him, & it would be over so soon & I will never be able to come back to this. If I were to wish away his infancy it would just take me to him being a busy toddler & that is just has exhausting (if not more so!)

This change of perspective has made those night feedings much easier & rather enjoyable. I really can't complain, because Milo is a great sleeper & he usually goes to bed between 8:00 & 9:00 & I don't hear from him again until about 1:30 & then 5:00-ish. This change has also allowed me to take this precious time during the night to enjoy some quiet time to ponder, relax, & just enjoy my sweet baby... which is such a refreshing change of pace from my loud, busy, hectic days.

For your viewing pleasure...

On Saturday we were finally able to get some pictures of the kiddos together, & it helped that we got Hannah to hold still long enough that she wasn't just a blur in each picture. It was such a success that I had a hard time narrowing them down... and despite the fact that you may feel I have too many here, this was as far as I could narrow it down. So ENJOY!!

And then their feet... can you go wrong with 20 darling little piggies?!

The real test begins...

My mom left today after being here for 17 days & I have such mixed emotions. First I am sad to see her go! I hate being so far from family, knowing how much they miss out on with my kids. I am feeling anxious & ready to attempt life with 2 kids, but that's only because I know I am going to have to do it at some point. I am feeling sad, because I will miss having her here. In my next life I want a wife of my own... I used to think I wanted to be the husband, but no, having my own wife will do. It has been so nice having someone else do the cooking & cleaning, & having someone to have adult conversation with at any time (that will be one of the things I miss most!) Then of course there is the feeling of fear, fear of running errands with 2 kids, trying to tend to ones needs while the other needs me at the same time. The fear of how Hannah will handle the transition, so far she has been great with Milo, but she has also had someone giving her lots of time & attention. So it begins & only time will tell...

My mom's flight was scheduled to leave at 11:55, so we dropped her off around 10:45 this morning. As we pulled away from the curb I was surprised that I was able to gain my composure rather quickly, it helped that Hannah told me not to cry & to be happy. Within 30 seconds she was asking for a snack, but my bag wasn't up front so I wasn't able to help her at the moment. I knew it would be a long drive home if I didn't get her a snack soon (and we don't live that far from the airport). So I pulled off at the hotel there at the airport, by this time Milo was fussing, & by the time I got out & got Hannah's snack he was getting really worked up. I decided since we were already pulled over I would just feed him now to make the drive home more pleasant. By the time both kids were satisfied & we were back on the road, my cell phone rang. It was my mom, she said that they just announced that her flight will be delayed over an hour. This was a bummer, because her layover is only an hour so she may miss her connecting flight. The flight ended up not leaving until almost 3:00!! I could have used her around here all day & instead she was stuck sitting at the airport!!

On the way home I decided it was too late in the morning to go to a friend's house, but I didn't want to go home just yet. So we stopped at the store & pick up a few things & to get some stuff we stuff for Jeff to keep at work for his lunches. We then went to grab some lunch & took it & the groceries to Jeff's work to surprise him. After lunch we headed home for nap time. The rest of the afternoon was spent fixing some chicken noodle soup for dinner & just playing at the house.

The end of the day came & we survived! I am glad that I am 2 weeks into my new life before I have had to face it alone. I am so glad my mom could come & help for as long as she did. I really didn't cry as much as I thought I would have, perhaps that will drag out into the week? Or perhaps my body doesn't have the energy to waste... either way, one day down!!

THANK YOU MOM!!!!

Week 2 of our new life

This week was really good. I began to feel better each day & by the end I actually felt like I might be able to do this without my mom here... not looking forward to it, but I have to eventually step up to the plate & attempt to adjust.
Tuesday was my mom's 50th birthday, & I was so thrilled that she was willing to spend it here helping our little family adjust! My step-dad also flew out that afternoon & Milo had his one week follow-up appointment. He was up to 7 lb 6 oz & 20 inches long. The pediatrician said he looks great & we don't go back until 2 months, but we can go in for weight checks if we want. I'm not too concerned about his weight, I figure as long as he is eating & has diapers that need to be changed we are doing good.

On Friday we ventured out to the mall, my mom wanted to get a few things & I wanted to go to the Disney Store to look for a costume of sorts for Hannah. I ended up getting her a Snow White dress & she LOVES it! We got home & barely got in the door before she was stripping down to put the dress on, & the next few days she had that dress on as long as we were home. I'm so glad that she loves it, but I am a little worried that it might not survive until Halloween... hehe.She has spent a log of time dancing around like Snow White, & Jeff is of course her prince. She doesn't want to eat apples, because she thinks someone has poisoned them to make her fall into a deep sleep.

Milo is such a mellow baby, I can't get over it. He has adjusted to something close to a 3 1/2 hour schedule, but it kind enough to usually give me a longer stretch in the night that is anywhere from 4-6 hours.... and I am so grateful!! He is also doing better about the feedings going a little faster, usually just over an hour now. I know that with time this too will improve. I have tried the wet rag or undressing him to keep him awake & alert, (we did those tricks with Hannah) but that doesn't work with this kid! Usually a diaper change is about the only thing that will stir him & sometimes that barely works. But I'm okay with it, everything is just a phase with babies & they are over before you know it. So I am just trying to soak up & enjoy everything with Milo.

The weekend included some errands & taking it easy. I only have until Monday morning before my mom heads home, so I am trying to enjoy the freedom to nap when I want (& when Milo allows.)

Our First Week

I can't believe it's been a week since Milo joined us. It has been a good week. He started out just like Hannah & going long spurts between feedings. He would only eat every 6 hours & not much luck trying to get him to eat before. After going through this with Hannah I knew he'd be fine, but after a couple of feedings that were this far apart I tried to feed him around 4 or 5 hours... no luck. With Hannah when I would try to feed her before she was ready it would get her really upset & end in a lot of crying between both of us. Milo won't have any of it either, but he just refuses to wake up or open his mouth. So I can now say I tried to feed him sooner, but had no luck... so I'll just go back to letting him go until he is ready to eat.

Monday included visits from Jeff, Hannah & mom in the morning. They headed home for lunch & Hannah's nap, but more visits followed from The Christensen's, then Leslie & Sadie came by for a minute, & Caroll & kids came by in the late afternoon. Between visits they came in & did Milo's hearing test & then took him for his circumcision. During all of this I kept telling myself I was going to take a nap, but that was hard to do, so I had to wait. My Dr. came in after he finished the circumcision & shortly after he left they brought Milo back. He was ready to eat, so it wasn't until after 2:00 that I was able to close the curtains & rest for a couple of hours. Jeff, Hannah & Mom came over around 4:00 to visit for a couple of hours.

Tuesday was much more quiet. I was able to enjoy a quiet day with Milo, other than the occasional visit from the nurses. We were discharged in the evening, they had to keep Milo for 48 hours because I was group B strep positive. We could have waited until Wednesday to be discharged, but despite my anxiety of going home I knew I was going to have to do it sooner or later. For some reason being sent home would mean more noise & the reality of my new life with 2 kids... YIKES!! I know it is nothing but hormones making me feel this way, thank goodness my mom is still here for 2 weeks. My milk is starting to come in & I can only tell because of all the hormones that come along with the process. When the nurse was in giving discharge instructions I broke into tears. She said: I guess that answers the question if your milk is coming in. hehe.

Wednesday was another lazy day of taking it easy & napping as much as possible. Milo is still sticking with his 6 hour feeding schedule, the only downfall is that it takes nearly 2 hours to finish a feeding. But I guess I can't complain since he is going so long between feedings. Tonight I gave Milo his first bath.

I really am feeling pretty good. So far the recovery seems to be easier this time around, perhaps it really is, or perhaps I just knew what to expect this time. I am having a hard time getting a nice long stretch of uninterrupted sleep though, & I'm thinking it's just because I have so much adrenaline still lingering in my system. So who knows what I'll feel like once that is out of my system.

Thursday was more of the same, we did venture out to the grocery store today & it wore me out! Just getting dressed & getting him in his car seat was enough to exhaust me. Last night Milo woke up every 4 hours to eat, he still takes a long time to eat because he dozes off to sleep, but I know that things will improve with time... so we'll continue taking it one day at a time.

Friday we all went for a drive & I was wore out, but not as bad as yesterday. I can safely say that the adrenaline is out of my system & the exhaustion has set in. Milo has pretty much stuck with his new 4 hour schedule (sometimes it may be a little longer.) Jeff worked today & called this afternoon informing me that he has to work tomorrow morning. The poor guy doesn't see much of us & especially Milo. Having him in school & working is much different than when we had Hannah & he was working from 6 to noon at discover card & was out of school. Hopefully this weekend he will be able to play with Hannah & spend more than 5 minutes with the baby.

Saturday Jeff work from 9 to noon, which wasn't too bad. Then he was able to spend some time with Hannah. Boyd (my step-dad) flies in this evening & will be here for a few day. I took my mom to pick up her rental car this morning, & then Jeff took her to find her hotel so she would know how to get there tonight. I spent most of the day in bed dozing with Milo in between feedings. The nights have been good so far, after his first feeding he will go more like 5 or 6 hours until the next one. We have yet to wake up more than 2 times a night & a couple of nights the 2nd feeding hasn't been until 5 or later, so that is more like 1 feeding per night. I do know that this could end at any time, so I'll just enjoy it while it lasts.

Sunday we spent the day mostly hanging out around the house as it was conference Sunday. My mom & step-dad are still here, he leaves on Tuesday but my mom is here until the 15th... THANK GOODNESS!! (I think I may have said that previously... hehe.) Today was actually the start of week 2... well as of 5:30 this evening. I guess we will see how our second week goes, hopefully as uneventful as the first.

Milo's Grand Entrance

After the mix up with my induction on Friday & the full hospitals, we were told to come in on Sunday at 7:30 am. So we got up this morning, my mom made us some breakfast before we headed out the door. Hannah was sad when we said that mom & dad were going to the hospital & she was staying home, but once we said Mimaw was staying with her she quickly gave us kisses & pushed us out the door.

We got to the hospital, checked in & got our room quickly. I was all hooked up with my IV & pitocin drip by 8:00. The nurse checked my progression & we were all a little sad to find I was only 1 cm dilated. After being at 3 cm for weeks with Hannah, I assumed things would have been similar this time. It made me wonder how long the day was going to be. The nurse said that my pitocin drip would be increased every 15-30 minutes. Jeff headed back home after 9:00 to pick my mom & Hannah up & bring them to the hospital.

At 10:00 the nurse came in & said she had been watching my monitors & couldn't understand why after so many increases of pitocin I still wasn't having contractions. She then said she couldn't remember actually hooking the drip line to my IV line, so she came to check. Sure enough she found that it wasn't connected & there was a puddle of pitocin on the floor. She hooked me up & talked to my OB about increasing my drip at a faster rate to make up for the last 2 hours of lost time. So my drip was increased rather quickly & the contractions began & increased quickly.

A little before noon Jeff took Hannah & my mom home to get some lunch & get Hannah down for a nap. Jeff has started to come down with a cold, so he stayed home to grab some lunch & take a nap. I told him I'd keep him posted, but knew he had time & I could use the quiet time to rest myself. Oh wait... that doesn't happen because of all the nurse visits.

Around 1:00 my Dr. came in & we talked about some different options to get things moving along. He mentioned placing a Foley balloon to increase dilation and/or breaking my water. He said that the nurse would check me, and that would help make the decision, because the balloon would only get me to a 3 or 4, so if I was progressing on my own it wouldn't be necessary or worth it. I told him I would like to get my epidural when he broke my water, because things would go fast & the pain would increase. When the nurse checked I was a 2+. She was going to check with the Dr. & come let me know what he decides. The nurse said she would put an order in for my epidural, but it might be a bit of a wait, because the anesthesiologist was doing a C-Section. I agreed to get some pain medicine for now. She came in a little bit later with a nice shot of something... can't remember what, but it helped a bit! I called & gave Jeff updates.

At 2:15 the Dr. & the nurse came in, I was expecting to hear from the nurse first, but they the Dr. was still here so he came in to check me & break my water, I was 4+ cm. The nurse said she would be back in a few minutes to prep me for my epidural.

For some strange reason the epidural gets me more worked up & nervous than actually giving birth. I called Jeff to give him an update & he said he was on his way, which I was glad, because I wanted him there when they placed the epidural. The nurse came in to start prepping me & I was worried that Jeff wasn't going to make it in time, but he did!

The anesthesiologist came in around 3:00 & placed my epidural. He was great, very friendly & chatty... which helped calm my nerves. He did find it funny that the epidural is what I was most concerned about, at least I could be amusing to his Sunday afternoon shift. It was a relief that have the worst part over with & to enjoy both the relief from the epidural & the rest of the birth experience.

Now the waiting began... At 3:45 the nurse came in to check my progress & I was at a "good 4". Jeff & I were talking about calling someone from church to see if they would watch Hannah so my mom could come to the hospital for the birth... that was the original plan, but when things got moved from Friday to Sunday we felt bad having someone have to take an extra kid to church. But now that it was approaching 4:30 (that's when our church lets out,) we decided we could find someone. So we were just waiting until after 4:30 to make a call, & then Jeff would go pick them up, drop Hannah off & then he and my mom would come to the hospital. Well at 4:15 the nurse came in to check me & I was dilated to 9 cm, & that changed our plans. We knew there was no way to get my mom here in time, so Jeff called to break the news to her.

Things went fast after that... the nurse started getting everything in the room ready & called my Dr. She checked me again & have me start pushing & sure enough Milo was crowning. So now we just chatted & waited for the Dr. to arrive. Once he got there around 5:00 he quickly got prepped & told Jeff he could help deliver the baby... after the head was out, Jeff would trade places with the Dr. & he would finish the delivery. Jeff was excited to have the experience, but did look a little nervous. Just like with Hannah it didn't take very long or very many pushes to get the baby here, honestly 10 or 15 minutes was it.

At 5:30 Baby Milo arrived, weighing 7 lbs 4 oz & 19.5 inches long. Jeff did a great job & despite my worry he didn't drop him...hehe. They let me hold him long enough to fall in love, before they had to take him over to clean up & check over. I hate that part... I am stuck in this bed to get stitched up while everyone else is having a great time in the other corner of the room with a sweet new baby. I try to make the most of my time & chat it up with my OB & my nurse.

What a fabulous day! I really do enjoy the whole labor & delivery process. And despite the frustration of having a set date scheduled & have it postponed... Milo was worth the wait!

Baby Milo is Here

Milo Graham arrived today at 5:30 PM weighing in at 7 lb 4 oz. and 19 1/2 inches long!

He was worth the wait!

The baby wait continues....

We weren't able to go in this morning, because the hospitals are full! So unless some mom's get discharged or I go into labor this baby isn't going anywhere for now.

The Ninth Month

Being a duplex
I have been happy, my dear,
T loan you half the house
Rent-free and furnished
As best I could.

You have been a good
Tenant, all in all
Quiet, yet comfortably there
Tapping friendly on the wall.

But I heard
You have outgrown the place
And are packing up to move.
Well, I will miss T
he sweet proximity.
But we will keep in touch.
There are bonds, my dear,
That reach beyond a block
Or a mile or a hemisphere
Born of much love and labor.

I approve the move
And gladly turn from landlady
To neighbor.

-Carol Lynn Pearson

My mom is flying in this afternoon to help us out for 2 weeks (THANK YOU, THANK YOU!) and we head to the hospital bright & early tomorrow for the arrival of our little baby Milo.

The end of the Road

I can't believe I am fast approaching the end of my pregnancy! Despite how much harder this one was compared to Hannah, it really seems to have gone by fast... amazing how life can take over like that, isn't it?!

I am actually feeling rather good considering just how miserable I could possibly feel. Week 36 or 37 was a little rough & I wasn't feeling all that good. I even wondered how I was going to make it to the end, but luckily that passed. And other than waking up 1/2 a dozen times to use the restroom every night & the pain involved in pulling myself up I have no other complaints. It's hard to wish for the end of a pregnancy when I feel reasonably good, but all things must come to an end, & with my due date (the 30th) fast approaching there isn't much more I can do but continue to prepare & wait.