All Is Well...

I got my nap, the afternoon improved, or perhaps the nap changed my perspective, & that is all that matters. Right?!

6 Weeks...

There are a few posts floating around in my empty head, but life isn't allowing as much time to take, upload & edit pictures... and not much more than a few minutes to sit down & type out a post. Perhaps my blog can look more like Facebook & I'll just post quick status updates?

(I started this post a few days ago, but didn't get beyond the fact that Viv has become fussy.)

Megan Taylor's baby was 6 weeks on Friday & I was shocked that there hadn't seemed any change in behavior (nothing leading up to 6-week fussy peak.) That all changed over the weekend! She decided she doesn't like to take nice long naps during the day. 30 minutes is more her style, followed by a lot of unhappiness.

Megan Taylor's Labor Day was spend home, in my pj's, & without a shower... sounds enjoyable eh? I guess I should add the 4-year-old with a fever, who puked all over the couch & living room floor in the afternoon. No Holidays at this job!

Megan Taylor's morning has been very long. Feverish 4-year-old, 2-year-old (enough said!), Fussy baby. Add those together & they have equaled a rather mean mommy! :( Thankfully it's nap time.

Megan Taylor is off to hold her screaming baby & hopefully take a nap herself!

Dear Village Street...

(This is not a picture of my neighborhood, but I don't have one of my fabulous tree-lined street)

I just walked in from reuniting with you after a very long absence, & I must say it was great to be together again! I didn't forget what it was like to be running through your tree-lined neighborhoods, but I had to put it out of my mind for awhile. I didn't plan on hitting the pavement so soon, I had told myself I would wait a MINIMUM of 6 weeks. As the 6 week mark grew closer I found myself daydreaming about seeing you again & I found myself staring with envy at every runner I passed. As the weather has grown cooler I longed for an early morning run to start my day, but with my very messed up sleep schedule a sunrise run was very unlikely.

Today I reached my breaking point (in so many ways) and I found myself planning out my evening in such a way that I could somehow get out to see you this evening. As the afternoon ended I was starting to think it wasn't going to happen, but as the stress of the day closed in on me I knew what would take the edge off. So I finished getting my sweet babe to sleep, followed by a quick change and I was off!

I was a little nervous not knowing how my out of shape, post-partum body was going to do. I will say that I made a huge mistake by not starting slow & pacing myself... but it felt so good! Running as fast as I could down my street, literally feeling some sort of chemical overload, I got goose bumps & a grin spread from cheek to cheek. As I rounded the corner I forced myself to slow down. My goal was to run the whole loop, no matter out slow. It wasn't easy & I did regret my decision to take the extended loop when I turned to do the southbound stretch. The head wind made it hard, but it was a beautiful night, wasn't it? The moon was a soft shade of orange against the periwinkle sky, & staring at that helped me through that hard stretch.

I made it home & I was able to run the whole way... and it felt GREAT! I'm not sure when I'll be out to see you again, because I really do need to take it slow. But I want you to know how great it felt to be out & I'll be back soon!

I look forward to joining you again!

Insane?

Okay all of you with 3 or more children... what's it like sharing a hotel room with a family of 5? Any tips/tricks/advice? Oh, can I mention that the oldest likes to wake before the sun, & makes a scene when sent back to bed. The middle is working on some killer (aka painful) molars & in an early waking/crying multiple times in the night due to teething pain habit. And the youngest will be 7 weeks old, she grunts & groans all night long & obviously doesn't sleep through the night, so will be up a few times to eat. The younger 2 are still in cribs. We either drag 2 pack-n-plays or teach one of them to sleep in a bed... not my ideal time/place to teach such a thing. The babe wouldn't need teaching, but would need some habit breaking once we returned home & she still longed to sleep with me.

Are we insane? I personally think that answer to that is yes, so I am pleading insanity at the time we committed to this adventure. After giving birth, reality & sanity rejoined me... I began thinking this wasn't the best choice for us & I started getting nervous. So I started thinking that the babe & I would hang back at home, sending Jeff off with the older 2. That was the plan, until a couple of hours ago... that terrible thing called a conscience got the better of me & I began suffering from that other terrible thing called guilt. For some reason I feel that all of us (possibly anyone in a hotel room on either side) suffering together is better than everyone but me & the babe. Just typing this is giving me a slight post-partum panic attack!

So I ask you again for any advice on surviving?

First Day of School

Hannah started Pre-Kindergarten on the 20th.

She was excited...

Combined with a little bit of nerves, but once she walked in she didn't look back.

I didn't cry, but there were tears I choked back as I walked away from her classroom.

She loved it & is excited to go back...

But she did inform me that she cried a little bit, because she wanted to come home!

(That made me feel good that she wasn't so thrilled to be free of me yet.)

Sisters

Hannah has this thing with sisters. She used to hold out her hand while we were curled up in her bed before her nap & say "Sisters?"
That was my cue to confirm this by holding her hand and saying "Sisters!"

I have been replaced & Hannah finally has herself a genuine sister!

(I love color, but there is something lovely & classic about these done in B&W.)

A Good Reminder

I was catching up on blogs today & read this lovely post. After wiping away the tears & snot I made a vow...
I vow to slow down & enjoy the current season I am in with my young family. Even if some situations aren't ideal, this includes & is not limited to...

The fact that someone depends on my body for their nutritional needs, despite how time consuming & sleep depriving that need is... (this is something that actually doesn't bother me other than those nights that we are up more than 3 times.)
Enjoying that I can't pee in peace, I'll appreciate the fact that someone loves me enough to follow me with a big grin.

Not being able to sit & enjoy a meal when it's warm/fresh at a normal time with my hands, lap & plate to myself... it's okay if I don't eat breakfast until 10:30, because time hasn't allowed. Or eating gelatinous oatmeal, a cold pancake or cold dinner. It's great that my kids love me so much that they insist on being right at my feet, begging for a bite.
I'll take the opportunity to step away & go sit when someone asks to be held, even if it is my 4 year old.. who doesn't like to cuddle & be held!? And I'll actively listen to every long & drawn out story no matter how strange or silly.

I'll try to take a step back & take a deep breath before reacting when my children show throw fits & remember that they are showing their independence... giving them the chance to learn & grow.

Perhaps I'll even try to enjoy the insanely early hour that my Hannah wakes up because she can't sleep & says she can't turn her brain off. She has such a love for life that she can't help but wake up early, excited to start each day & see what it holds... I could try to have that same zest for life! (Then again, perhaps that's too much to commit to right now!)
Even though I've been reminded before how fast kids grow up & I try to enjoy the greasy fingerprints on windows & doors. I try to enjoy the dust that collects, & the exhaustion that settles into my bones, because babies grow up & I'll have the rest of my life to clean & sleep. I vow to just love everything about this time, because it will pass me by before I know it. Yes, I'll probably have to make this same vow again, but I'm happy to have the reminder today.

Growing Up...

Today Milo asked to watch his elephant show (Bindi the Jungle girl... the elephant episode, the only thing he'll sit through.) I told him he could watch it in just a minute after I cleaned up the lunch mess. He followed me in the kitchen & began counting... with each number I'm sure my eyes got bigger & my jaw dropped more. He counted all the way to 6! It was so bittersweet, because I was so impressed but also saddened that he is growing up.

Photo Shoot

Today one of my favorite people in Oklahoma got to meet Vivien. My friend Kristen has been out of town since right before she arrived. Kristen also happens to be the photographer behind Boys N Berries Photography, & she gave me a wonderful gift a while back... a newborn photo shoot.
You can see a sneak peek from the shoot here.

(I'll of course post some of them here eventually, but thought I'd share some now.)

Week 2...

Perhaps it is more like weak x 2... because I am feeling like an emotional weakling. It's a good thing my mom is here for 2 weeks after having my babies, because my kids would be in some sad hands if it were just me here. The weekend was a little rough & sad, but things improved the 2nd half of the week.

The way I was feeling Tuesday was a complete turn around from my baby blue state all weekend & carrying into Monday. Tuesday afternoon we were going to go to Sonic for happy hour, but my mom had previously mentioned going to Pops, & so we opted to go there instead. It was a great way to kill some time this afternoon. It would have been even better if it was a little cooler & less humid, but it's August in Oklahoma.

On Wednesday I took Vivien to her 2 week check up. She was still measuring 20 inches long, her head was 141/2, and was up to 8 lb 2 oz (she was 7.12 when we left the hospital). I asked the Dr. about her belly button (her umbilical stump is off, but her belly button is bleeding a bit) & she is having me clean it with peroxide & then alcohol 2 or 3 times a day. Other than that, she is doing great!

Thursday was the dreaded day... the day my mom left! BOO HOO! It was very sad, & I had to try to keep my mind elsewhere all day & not even bring up her departure. Sure enough all those tears I had been holding back all day came on strong when I went to say goodbye. I am so blessed to have a mom that could take the time off work to come help me with my family as we adjust to the new baby. I can't imagine making the transition without her 2 weeks of support... (although I really could have used the 3 or 4 extra days that she gave me with Milo.) Thank You Mom!!! Your help & more importantly your company will be missed!!

Friday has come (not sure if this would be the beginning of week 3 or still part of week 2) & the house seems quiet & lonely without my mom. The baby blues have returned for an unannounced & uninvited visit. Luckily my kids have been relatively pleasant today & Jeff came home early (YIPPEE... things are so much easier with support). We all ventured out to Sam's Club to grab a few things, & I was reminded that I am not ready to go alone with all 3 kids just yet. Combine that with a fabulous meal brought in by a friend & I'd say it was a day of over-rated reality combined with moments where my heart was full of gratitude for a great AND helpful husband & great friends who can cook!

Vivien is still not showing a whole lot of rhyme or reason for her eating schedule, or perhaps I'm just not keeping good enough track to see if there is a pattern. Yes, I know that I could go & put her on a schedule but she has been giving me 4-6 hour stretches at night & I love it. So I am afraid if I mess with the day schedule she'll change the nights on me. I am sure this little "honeymoon" phase will end soon & I'll decide a schedule is in order, but until then we are going to just enjoy what we have going!

The kids still love her... Hannah is always asking to hold her & is more than willing to do anything I ask if it involves her "baby sister." Milo continues to shower her with kisses & I usually get one kiss for every 2 he gives the baby. Hopefully things will continue to go good with the older 2, especially now that Mimaw is gone!