Frustration...

We are still in the hospital. Hannah & I rotate on having a hard time. One minute I am trying to avoid a meltdown & when the emotions get back in control Hannah has her turn. She will throw a big fat fit & I just let her. Sometimes it feels good to scream, cry, kick, hit & throw things. So we are just doing what we can to stay sane, even if that means having moments of insanity.

All the tests have come back negative. The Doctors are stumped & feeling our frustration... knowing that something is wrong, but not finding anything. The GI was supposed to come in today, but it's almost 5:00, so I'm thinking we aren't going to get very far tonight... which is just one more thing to add to my list of frustrations. They are going to do some labs in the morning, some routine & one to rule out celiac disease (wheat/gluten allergy.) A nurse also suggested to our doctor that she be tested for cystic fibrosis (God forbid!), & we were hoping they would do that today, but didn't. The nurse said the chances of them doing that this weekend are slim, because the hospital doesn't do that test. So it seems we are here for the weekend.

Hannah is on a clear liquid diet & just begs for food. So Jeff & I sneak our food. She keeps saying she wants to watch us eat, & that just breaks my heart. We can't bring ourselves to torture her like that, this whole experience seems like more torture than any child should have to go through. We wish they would up her diet, but we know that would bring the return of diarrhea, so it's sort of a bad situation. I just wonder if she will continue to lose weight while on liquids alone. She has lost 4 lbs, which is about 15% her body weight. She is only getting a couple hundred calories through juice & popsicles.

Last night she slept terrible, maybe 6 hours of sleep & it was broken up in segments. She took a 2 hour nap this morning, & nothing else... she is a complete monster! I am so tired & I am doing my best to take it easy, but it's very hard & feels like an inconvenience. If I wasn't pregnant I could survive on very little sleep & some coke... but being pregnant is requiring more of me, such as taking it easy, eating often, etc. Jeff is taking his turn at the hospital tonight, & I'll go home & try to get some sleep. Hopefully the exhaustion will have caught up to Hannah & she can get some much needed rest.

I'll try to keep things updated when there is anything to update.