I know, I know...

(These are actually pictures from a month ago, but if you'll take note of her cute little layer of fat.)

It's been over a month since I posted & it seems that the more time passes & I just get that farther behind, the less I want to update. This will be short & perhaps shed some light on the reason for my falling behind...

Hannah has been sick for 3 weeks now. Can I just tell you that I am so tired of being tired & of having this sick kiddo!! But enough about me, because compared to her, exhaustion is nothing!

It is heartbreaking! She has had serious issues with bodily fluids from both sides, (you know what I'm saying?) and it didn't help that we were out of town for the first 10 days of the illness. So that probably only added to the sickness, because I wasn't keeping her diet as bland as I should have. I also didn't have a clue that she was so sick or what was wrong. She tends to get a little distressed in the GI area when we are out of town, & I assumed it was that plus some sort of yucky bug. Well that is an understatement!

(This too is a month old, but take note of the double chin,

because that & the cute fat layer are gone!

That is what nearly 3 lbs will do to someone who isn't even 30 lbs!)

We are pretty sure she has that lovely swimming pool parasite, crypto, that is going around in Utah. We didn't really make this connection until last weekend & couldn't get into her doctor, so we ended up taking her to the ER. We still aren't 100% that she has the parasite, as we are still waiting for the test results to come back. The ER told me to not feed her for 2 or 3 days, just keep her on a clear liquid diet. I understand the reasoning here, but couldn't believe they were serious. I called the nurse the next day & even called the Dr. on call last night to confirm this "NO FOOD" thing. All giving me the same answer, to basically starve her. I think it is safe to say that none of these people have had to actually starve their own 2 year olds. They all gave me the great advice to "reason with her" HAHAHA! I didn't know that was a possibility, but let's just say I'm a big fat cheater & I can't starve her. It feels like child abuse. I have given in a couple of times for a saltine here or there. Today her body has finally given in to the hunger & must no longer trigger to her brain that it is hungry. Because she didn't as for anything to eat until just before nap time & I was able to keep her distracted. It's sad & pathetic, it's all I can do to not burst into tears just looking at her! I feel guilty when I sneak away to have something to eat myself. If I wasn't pregnant I would probably go on the same liquid diet with her out of pity.

As you can imagine she doesn't have much energy (where would it come from, if she did.) So it doesn't take much to entertain her, but I also try to keep her busy enough that she is distracted & not thinking about food. That too is hard, I would think to get her together with some of her little friends, but 2 year olds like to snack all day long. So that would go over long enough until they beg for snacks.

Sadly Jeff is making this a little hard also. We went to drop something off at his work & he asked if we wanted to go out to lunch. Hannah's face lit up as she enthusiastically said YES! I wanted to beat him right then, but there was too many witnesses around (and they are all lawyers, not a good idea!) And should I mention the M&M he snuck her yesterday? I was furious & he didn't seem to understand why. He doesn't realize that I too would love to feed her something to get a big grin out of her, like candy, but I also feel that I need to get her healthy. I know he means well, & hates this as much as I do. So now not only do I feel like the meanest mom in the world, not letting my child eat whatever, whenever, but she is going to view me that way. Because Dad is sneaking her things & talking about taking her to lunch & who has to say no? ME! So I'm the evil one! So Jeff, join MY team & fight the fight with me, not against me, dude!

Okay, so that was a longer explanation than I thought I could get out right now, but it felt really good to vent about it. So hopefully you can all understand my lack of posting right now. My priorities are down to one... Hannah, & everything else has been put on hold, because I feel I should focus my time & energy in the most important aspect of my life. But I promise to eventually get around to talking about the fun that was had in between the sad car accident & the sad sick child... because the 3 weeks in Salt Lake were very enjoyable... minus picking up this parasite of course.