HELP!!!

 

I have a dozen posts floating around in my head of things from the last month, but just haven't had the time to sit down & post! I RARELY get on the computer when my kids are awake, so that leaves nap time (if they decide to nap at the same time, but I have lots of stuff on my to do list during nap time)and after bed. Jeff is on the computer after the kids go to bed, & since he is using it to study for the bar exam his needs trump my need to blog. But right now I am in need of some help.

So I am breaking the rules. It's the middle of the afternoon, both kids are awake & I'm blogging (Jeff is home, so I guess it's okay, right?) Well anyway. I know this family that has a little girl, she is 3 1/2. She comes from 2 stubborn parents, so she doesn't have a chance! These parents are struggling with the fits, whining, tantrums, not wanting to sit up to the dinner table & eat (She prefers to treat the table, surrounding chairs & her brothers high chair as a jungle gym.) She is put in her room when she throws fits & tantrums & told she can come out when she is finished & this seems to work. The dinner time battle is new & so far she has been told she can sit up & eat her dinner or go sit in her room until dinner is over. It's not like they have long leisurely dinners, we're talking 10 minutes here. Any suggestions?

On top of that she doesn't like/want to clean up after herself. Mom & Dad are willing to help, but she doesn't want to do her portion of the work. They have attempted the threat of taking the toy away if she doesn't help clean it up. In the beginning this worked great, but it isn't working anymore. Toys have actually had to be taken away. Mom isn't sure when the toys should be given back. Should she have to earn them? Or do she wait a set amount of time & return them?

Mom & Dad have implemented a little "Good Girl Jar" (something mom had heard of before & a friend had just started with her friends) The jar was decorated by the 3-year-old & then told how each day she will start out with 3 candies in the jar. She can earn more candy by being nice, cleaning up, listening to mom & dad, etc. But candy can also be taken away by NOT doing these things. At the end of the day, after dinner/before bed she gets to eat whatever candy is in her jar. This worked great yesterday (it's only day 2 with the jar) but today it's been it & miss. Sometimes the 3-year-old is quick to earn or keep the candy & other times she tells her mom "It's okay, I'm not hungry."

This mom is running out of ideas & closet space to store toys. If anyone has any suggestions or similar experience that I could pass onto the mom & dad I would, I mean, they would appreciate it... poor parents! I can't even imagine what they are going through, I'm so glad I have my little angels are so cooperative.